Archive for January, 2012
WOW!!! Freestyle skier PK Hunder almost just took out an idiot cameraman who walked onto the course during the Winter X Games Ski Big Air competition. This idiot cameraman was walking across the course just sipping away on his Red Bull when PK came flying by. Did it phase PK? No Way, he nailed his trick anyways.
Have to love the freestyle skiers.
And In Slow-Mo
We have some sad news to report this afternoon. Professional freestyle skier Sarah Burke has succumbed to injuries she sustained while training at a Park City, Utah halfpipe on January 10th. She was only 29 years old.
The Canadian, Burke, crashed while training on the same halfpipe that severely injured snowboarder Kevin Pearce in 2009. She sustained major brain injuries due to a lack of oxygen and blood after going into cardiac arrest on the mountain.
Sarah was a four time X-Games gold medal champion and by far the most well known and popular women’s freestyle skier in the World. She always amazed the crowds with her skill and brought the sport to new heights (literally) with her progression.
Sarah you will be sorely missed.
Are you a drug addict who loves Vicodin and OxyContin, but find yourself taking a handful of the drugs because one pill, “Just doesn’t do it for me anymore”?
Well you are in luck!!
The wonderful drug companies of the World have decided to make a new pill that is 100% pure Hydrocodone!!! No longer will you have to deal with non-addictive painkillers like acetaminophen or ibuprofen being mixed in with your opiates. You are now free to destroy your life and spend all of your money on the best stuff available!!
One of the pharmaceutical companies that is preparing to release the new pill, Teva Pharmaceuticals, is expecting sales of $500 Million or more annually. (I didn’t realize that many people live in West Virginia)
But watch out drug addicts, politicians are trying to rain on your prescription drug parade. Senator Chuck Schumer is asking the FDA not to approve the pill, and New York Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman has released a report showing the rising number of people abusing painkillers and asking that the FDA not allow pure hydrocodone to be sold in America. (Party poopers)
Don’t worry too much though, most of the folks over at the FDA have their pockets lined with cash from the drug companies, so this will definitely be approved.
Start saving your cash and steal some more prescription pads you drug riddled Americans, because the street value for this stuff is going to be crazy!!
DISCLAIMER: ZACHISGOD.COM in no way endorses the illegal use of prescription drugs. Save your money to send your kids to college.
According to a newly released report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, close to 17 percent of the United States population admit to binge drinking (4 or more drinks for a woman and 5 or more for a man, in one sitting). That is roughly 38 million people nationwide.
But listen to this, the state with the least amount of binge drinking according to the study is……………………………….drum roll please……………………………………………………………………………………………
NEW JERSEY!! (Just another in a long list of things to be proud of)
New Jerseyans only binge drink, on average, 3.6 times per month. That is compared to the highest binge drinking state, Kentucky, that consumes copious amounts of alcohol 6 times per month.
Oh, and we can’t forget about Wisconsin and the 25.6% of their population who binge on an average 9 drinks per occasion. I’m surprised those crazy badgers can “Jump Around” after the third quarter, you’d think they’d be passed out in their seats.
And what age group would you predict to binge drink the most often? Did you say 18-24 year olds? WRONG! Try 65+, who binge on the liquor of their choice an average of 6 times a month. Gotta love it when Grandma and Grandpa get a party started!!
Malik the lion is sick of not getting his snacks. Everyday he has to sit behind the glass at the Wellington Zoo and watch as thousands of scrumptious little humans walk by his enclosure.
So Malik finally lost it, and desperately tried to break through the heavy duty glass enclosure he calls home to get a taste of 3 year old Sofia Walker. Unfortunately for Malik, and fortunately for Sofia, the glass is made to withstand such attempts and the tiny girl was never in any danger.
In the video below you can see just how angry the 7 year old lion gets when he realizes that he will be stuck with the meat that is supplied by the zoo trainers. Look at his eyes and the deep breaths he is taking. That is one pissed off kitty.
Sofia, on the other hand, is one calm little girl and most likely headed to the snack bar to chow down on her own little snack of chicken fingers and french fries. The poor chicken didn’t even see it coming.
Were you awakened by a text message saying, “Hi, You’ve just been Selected to Test & Keep the iPad3! Confirm Your Spot Right Now at http:/ /ipad3mania.us”?
Well folks, no, you are not some lucky schmuck who gets to use the wonderful new iPad for free. This is a scam.
Do not click on the link and immediately delete the text message from your phone. Oh, and don’t bother trying to call back the number that it came from, it goes nowhere.
But after doing a little research online I was able to find out the name of the person who the domain “ipad3mania.us” is registered to.
Ben Fuller, Email firstname.lastname@example.org. I would give you the registered phone number and address but they are both fake.
Email this asshole and tell him what a piece of shit he is. There are a lot of dumb and innocent people out there who actually fall for this kind of bullshit and criminals like Ben Fuller take advantage of them.
I’ll try to find out more information about this guy (If he is a real person) and will keep you updated.
Chris Meloni, of Law and Order: SVU fame, is fucking hilarious. Always has been. Be it his role as a nutty Vietman Vet in Wet Hot American Summer or his disgustingly awesome cameo in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, he has continuously impressed me with his comedic abilities.
The video above though is by far one of the funniest things he has ever done.
Just watch it. There really isn’t anything else that needs to be said.
Have you ever drank a can of Mountain Dew and had the feeling that it was eating your stomach? Well it very well may have been.
A customer has sued the soft drink company, claiming to have found a dead mouse (Not the DJ) in a can of the green colored soda, 15 months after he bought it. (Who the hell waits 15 months to drink a Dew?)
In an attempt to clear their good name PepsiCo, Dew’s parent company, has brought in experts that claim if a dead mouse had actually been in a can of Mountain Dew that long, it would have dissolved into a ”jelly-like substance.”
So if the soda can do that to a mouse then what does it do to our insides? The same experts say don’t worry though, your stomach and intestines are made to withstand the citric acid that would dissolve the mouse over time.
Phew, thought I was in for a nasty morning after drinking that 12 pack of Code Red. Oh you know it’s the best flavor, don’t even pretend that you actually like the Throw Back.
So anyways, I am calling bullshit on this guy finding a dead mouse in his can. This type of story pops up once or twice a year and it usually winds up being some guy desperate for money and planting the dead animal.