News
VIDEO: Norwegian Star rescues the crew of the sailboat Avenir
Jul 1st
So I had a pretty interesting honeymoon trip to Bermuda last week.
On Tuesday the 26th of June, Captain Kenneth Harstrom of the Norwegian Star informed the cruise ship passengers that a distress call had come in from a sailboat carrying six passengers, and that the ship would be turning around and heading towards the vessel.
The sailboat Avenir was returning to Newport, Rhode Island after completing the Newport to Bermuda sailing race when it’s rudder broke, leaving it adrift in the middle of the very rough Atlantic Ocean.
We arrived near the Avenir around 12:15pm and the ship’s crew began it’s rescue mission. Lucky for me I was right near a window with a front row view (Thanks to my wife who was hitting up the slots at the casino. Thanks babe!)
The Norwegian Star crew did a fantastic job reaching the sailboat and successfully getting all 6 passengers safely off the Avenir and on board the Star.
Check out my video of some of the rescue below.
Norwegian Star Crew saves sailboat Avenir
Breaking News! Sources: Tim Tebow traded to Jets, Manning a Bronco
Mar 19th
I know it’s been a while since ZACHISGOD has had any breaking news, but this is a big one.
Our sources are telling us that the Denver Broncos have already come to an agreement with the New York Jets to trade quarterback Tim Tebow. The details of the trade have not been completed yet, but the deal will bring Tebow to the unholy city of New York, where he can try to convert the wicked.
This all has come about because Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter of ESPN are reporting that, baring any complications, the Denver Broncos will be signing free agent quarterback Peyton Manning. Manning, who was released by Indianapolis, has selected Denver as his next home after visiting with a number of other organizations. Obviously with Peyton in town the Broncos no longer had any use for Tebow’s inefficient arm and didn’t waste any time getting a trade done.
I think the Jets are a perfect fit for Tebow (You can always use more tight ends). Get ready for the big welcome party. This is going to be hilarious.
ESPN, Tebow Traded to Jets article HERE.
ESPN, Manning to Denver article HERE.
(Getty Images/Doug Pensinger)
Hey drug addicts, you have a new painkiller in town!
Jan 13th
Are you a drug addict who loves Vicodin and OxyContin, but find yourself taking a handful of the drugs because one pill, “Just doesn’t do it for me anymore”?
Well you are in luck!!
The wonderful drug companies of the World have decided to make a new pill that is 100% pure Hydrocodone!!! No longer will you have to deal with non-addictive painkillers like acetaminophen or ibuprofen being mixed in with your opiates. You are now free to destroy your life and spend all of your money on the best stuff available!!
One of the pharmaceutical companies that is preparing to release the new pill, Teva Pharmaceuticals, is expecting sales of $500 Million or more annually. (I didn’t realize that many people live in West Virginia)
But watch out drug addicts, politicians are trying to rain on your prescription drug parade. Senator Chuck Schumer is asking the FDA not to approve the pill, and New York Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman has released a report showing the rising number of people abusing painkillers and asking that the FDA not allow pure hydrocodone to be sold in America. (Party poopers)
Don’t worry too much though, most of the folks over at the FDA have their pockets lined with cash from the drug companies, so this will definitely be approved.
Start saving your cash and steal some more prescription pads you drug riddled Americans, because the street value for this stuff is going to be crazy!!
DISCLAIMER: ZACHISGOD.COM in no way endorses the illegal use of prescription drugs. Save your money to send your kids to college.
mmmmmmm, hydrocodone. (Sue Ogrocki/AP)
Report: New Jersey has the lowest amount of binge drinking in the country. (Not a Joke)
Jan 10th
According to a newly released report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, close to 17 percent of the United States population admit to binge drinking (4 or more drinks for a woman and 5 or more for a man, in one sitting). That is roughly 38 million people nationwide.
But listen to this, the state with the least amount of binge drinking according to the study is……………………………….drum roll please……………………………………………………………………………………………
NEW JERSEY!! (Just another in a long list of things to be proud of)
New Jerseyans only binge drink, on average, 3.6 times per month. That is compared to the highest binge drinking state, Kentucky, that consumes copious amounts of alcohol 6 times per month.
Oh, and we can’t forget about Wisconsin and the 25.6% of their population who binge on an average 9 drinks per occasion. I’m surprised those crazy badgers can “Jump Around” after the third quarter, you’d think they’d be passed out in their seats.
And what age group would you predict to binge drink the most often? Did you say 18-24 year olds? WRONG! Try 65+, who binge on the liquor of their choice an average of 6 times a month. Gotta love it when Grandma and Grandpa get a party started!!
That looks like Tebow
Lion desperately tries to eat 3 year old through glass at the zoo
Jan 10th
Malik the lion is sick of not getting his snacks. Everyday he has to sit behind the glass at the Wellington Zoo and watch as thousands of scrumptious little humans walk by his enclosure.
So Malik finally lost it, and desperately tried to break through the heavy duty glass enclosure he calls home to get a taste of 3 year old Sofia Walker. Unfortunately for Malik, and fortunately for Sofia, the glass is made to withstand such attempts and the tiny girl was never in any danger.
In the video below you can see just how angry the 7 year old lion gets when he realizes that he will be stuck with the meat that is supplied by the zoo trainers. Look at his eyes and the deep breaths he is taking. That is one pissed off kitty.
Sofia, on the other hand, is one calm little girl and most likely headed to the snack bar to chow down on her own little snack of chicken fingers and french fries. The poor chicken didn’t even see it coming.
"Can I pet the human mom? Please?" "No Malik! Stop tapping on the glass!"
Howard Stern hired by NBC as new judge on “America’s Got Talent”
Dec 15th
And now I have a reason to watch “America’s Got Talent”
ZACHISGOD’s God, Mr. Howard Stern, has been hired by NBC as the new judge of the popular summer talent show.
The details of the contract have not been released (And they never will be), but we do know that the show is moving production to New York City. That is one condition that was extremely important to Howard, due to the fact that he hates flying and loves his house in the Hampton’s.
This is a fantastic decision by NBC. You won’t get a more honest and fair judge in the world. The ratings are going to be huge!!
Get ready America, Howard is coming!!
Praise be to our Lord and Savior, Howard Stern.
HOWARD IS GOD
Energy Drinks and Alcohol are causing more ER visits
Nov 23rd
After the Four Loko craziness from earlier this year, many states began banning alcoholic beverages that included caffeine. So what did kids do? Started mixing it themselves, what a shocker. (We’ve been doing it since we were 16, right?)
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, ER visits related to people combining alcohol with energy drinks rose from 1,128 visits in 2005 to 13,114 in 2009. I’m sure it was something like 25 billion visits in 2011 (Don’t quote me on that). You know what else is a surprise, most of the visits were by men between 18 and 39. Didn’t see that one coming.
So what did the doctors find wrong with these drunk and very awake young men? Arrhythmia, hypertension and dehydration were the most common ailments.
I guess Joe’s Tavern better re-think those 3 for 1 Vodka and Red Bulls on Tuesday nights.
Justice? Texas judge who beat daughter is Suspended with pay
Nov 23rd
I don’t know if you can call this justice (because to me the only real justice would be letting his daughter whip his ass the same way) but Texas judge William Adams was suspended Tuesday by the Texas Supreme Court, pending the outcome of an inquiry into his brutal beating of his daughter.
Here’s the problem I have, he was suspended WITH PAY!! Seriously, you are going to pay a man, who beat the shit out of his handicapped daughter, not to work? And why does their need to be an inquiry, did these people not see the gruesome video? I know the statute of limitations is up because the incident happened back in ’04, but there is no way this man is fit to judge any cases and needs to be disbarred and removed from the bench immediately, not just suspended. This guy has presided over 349 family cases in just the past year, many of them dealing with child abuse. How could he possibly be fair when he himself beats the crap out of kids.
This guy is a monster
WARNING THE VIDEO BELOW IS DISTURBING
Another story about divers being left behind. When will it end?
Oct 5th
Why does it seem like there is at least one story every year of divers being left behind by charter boats? How the hell does this happen? Aren’t they required by law to do some sort of roll call before picking up the anchor and heading home?
Luckily for divers Paul Kline and Fernando Garcia Puerta they were able to swim to a small buoy and hold on until a private yacht spotted them and took them to safety. Kline called the situation a close call and said, “If the night had fallen, the situation would have turned into panic.”
If you have seen the 2003 film “Open Water”, then you know exactly what he is talking about. Scary shit.
This is why I do not scuba dive, in fact I do not even go in the ocean.
I really think the scuba community needs to get together and come up with some better regulations regarding head counts of divers. This should never happen.
Amanda Knox conviction overturned! She is free!
Oct 3rd
The Italian appeals jury has decided the fate of Amanda Knox and her then boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito. They are going home! The jury overturned their convictions today, freeing the pair who had been in jail for the past four years.
Her family needs to get her out of that country immediately and back home to the States.
I believe this decision is correct. There just wasn’t enough hard evidence to prove that she took part in the murder.
Good luck Amanda, I am sure it will be a long process to get your life back.
Full article HERE.
